BAND: Mikelangelo and the Tin Star

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I have a thing for bands with "Something and the Something Something" name formats. It's so retro, and antiquated, but unbelievably cool.

It's fitting then, that Mikelangelo and the Tin Star are not only as retro as you can get, but also ridiculously awesome. The band is fronted by the excellently-coiffed Mikelangelo, a man who is known for unbelievably whipping out a comb mid-set to fix his quiff, yet never seeming like a try-hard doing so. I imagine that all their instruments would go out of tune if his hair was out. The rest of the gang provide retro-soaked surf 'n western tunes to back up Mikelangelo's smooth crooner voice, and it almost feels like you've been taken back in time to some era where women were ladies who wore gloves, gentlemen always stood up when people arrived at the dinner table, and sex was talked about in hushed voices.

And although she isn't technically part of the band, you can't talk about Mikelangelo and the Tin Star without mentioning the lovely Saint Clare. A honey-voiced singer, Saint Clare is a frequent guest at Tin Star gigs, with her sweet voice and hypnotising go-go dance moves sitting comfortable against Mikelangelo's swanky swagger and sneer.

So if you can't afford a time machine, you should seriously try to scrounge together some loose change to catch Mikelangelo and the Tin Star before they sail the seven seas in search of fame and glory overseas. Saint Clare and The Sljivovitz Orchestra will be accompanying the troubadours at their final farewell show for a while.

DATES:

• July 8: Northcote Social Club, Northcote

LINKS:

• The Tin Star MySpace
• Mikelangeo and the Tin Star Facebook page
• Saint Clare MySpace
• Farewell show gig on Facebook

BAND: The JSB's

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I should probably mention that I'm not an electro girl. I think it may have something to do with seeing so many downright terrible electro jam bands in my rounds as a reviewer. So when I heard another journalist describe The JSB's like the-bit-in-Elvis-movies-where-he-takes-out-his-guitar-and-starts-serenading-some-Hawaiian-girl but with synths, I was definitely intrigued.

What sets these electro rockers apart is their quirkiness. The sing like they're high on peyote, their instruments squeal like they're orgasming (I'm not sure if instruments can have sex, but I'll get back to you on that one) and the beats are like a party in your ears. The lyrics are equally as bizarre - you can rest assured that there are no sappy love songs or lame arse "party party" tunes. And there's just something about Spanish Flu that reminds me of Tina Turner's Nutbush City Limits (and that in turn reminds me of doing the Nutbush with dorky teenage boys when I was fourteen, always a good thing).

The JSBs will be launching their excellent St Christopher's Road Trip To Vegas EP at Revolver on July 2 with Johnny Rock & the Limits, and Tomaki Jets.

LINKS:

• The JSB's MySpace
• The JSB's Facebook
• My review of guitarist Jake Milligan's other band Delights

BAND: PANIC

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No, I'm not crazy about typing everything in capital letters, but this band is apparently called PANIC. I checked out the amazing band The Stabs at Bar Open on Sunday, but it wasn't three grungy men that really stood out in my head. It was the 22 very lovely female musicians that absolutely filled out the "stage" area of Bar Open. Twenty-two women, all clad in various shades of red, black and leopard print, and every single one armed with an instrument of some sort. From what I could see, there were two violins, multiple percussionists, a few vocalists, an accordion, two drummers, a double bass, multiple guitars, a twelve-string, a melodica and probably a lot more that I couldn't actually see.

The result? Absolutely astonishing. The Bar Open gig was PANIC's debut gig, and it took them a while to get things together (sound checking and co-ordinating 22 people is no easy feat). But once they did, the audience were pretty much worshipping the ladies. PANIC's sound was sort of like a twisted, demented orchestra - the type of music that would be in the soundtrack of a demented horror film, perhaps. Banshee vocals, muttered words, eclectic percussion and an overall wall of sound that can only be created with that many musicians.

By the way, they don't have a MySpace account, or it's very well hidden, so I could be making all this shit up.